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Joke of the Day

"Why was the programmer's code incomprehensible? No comment."

"What do you call the 72 virgins that Allah gave isis? Goats"

"There's absolutely no way Lady Gaga was born with half an Office Depot hot-glued to her head."

"I wonder if Martha Washington ever got splinters from George's teeth."

"What did the two lesbian vampires say to each other? See you next month."

"I'm taking a course in self defense. I can't afford a trial lawyer."

"What does Marshawan Lynch use to keep himself calm before the big game? Marsh-Mellows"

"Guess what? You didn't guess what."

"How does a comedian like his eggs? Funny side up"

"I'm optimistic that within my lifetime it will become acceptable to wear your underwear to the supermarket."