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Joke of the Day

"Where does Christopher keep his dance shoes? In the Walken closet."

"What's the worst part about making out with a perfect 10? The cold feeling on your lips when you realize you're kissing the mirror"

"What's the difference between a bull and an orchestra? The bull has the horns in front and the asshole in the back."

"if I am elected governor I will eat your pillow while you sleep and unlike my opponent I will also do it if I am not elected"

"WIFE: I love you NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON: Actually it's just emotional comfort after years of being toget- WIFE: *packing* I'll be at my mothers"

"I used to be a taxi driver. Do you know why I gave it up? I didn't like people talking behind my back!"

"Over the Internet, you can pretend to be anyone or anything. I'm amazed that so many people choose to be complete idiots."

"What does Bill Cosby have in common with Santa? They both come while you sleep"

"I went to an Indian restaurant and asked for curry bread. But there was naan."

"What do scientists and vegetables have in common? Stephen Hawking"