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Joke of the Day

"I would like to be Santa Claus He knows where all the naughty girls live."

"What do you call a natural blonde who dies her hair? Artificial intelligence."

"I ate way too many freedom fries yesterday. I had to liberate the toilet for hours."

"I am so proud to be part of a society that needs television commercials to remind us not to lock our kids in hot cars."

"The guy who stole my personal journal has died... My thoughts are with his family."

"Why does the little mermaid wear seashells? Because she is too big for B-shells"

"How did you know I was a member of Al Qaida? Was it my knees? Do I have terrorist's knees? Oh, the bomb. Not the knees then? That's good."

"My gf thinks I cook our meals cause I love her. Really, it's cause I'm afraid she might try to poison me."

"Old one but...A Priest, A rapist and a Pedophile walk into a bar... He orders a beer!"

"""...you can also say 'representative' at any ti--"" ""REPRESENTATIVE!!"""