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Joke of the Day

"I am so proud to be part of a society that needs television commercials to remind us not to lock our kids in hot cars."

"The cancelled marathon runners should seriously run through the boroughs with supplies. I said it earlier as a joke, now I say it for real."

"The guy at the grocery store just asked if I brought my reusable bag with me and I told him its none of his business where my girlfriend is"

"What does a brick and your mom have in common? They are both flat-chested and laid by Mexicans. Source: My old middle school."

"Neo Nazi? Morpheus unhappy."

"I hate people who use stereotypes... They're usually hypocrites."

"What does Bruce Lee like to eat before a fight to the death? QUINOOOOAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"

"What do you call tities in the middle of your beer? Better."

"""It's Christmas Eve, not Christmas Steve."" -confused homophobe"

"Are Koalas bears? No, they're marsupials But they have the right koalafications to be a bear"