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Joke of the Day

"Cat got your tongue? Frog in your throat? Monkey on your back? Butterflies in your stomach? You may be dead in a field."

Next Joke
 
"War vets with prosthetic limbs are running marathons and I'm busy trying to lasso the tv remote with my phone charger cord."
"What did the white collar executive say to the low-income disenfranchised youth? Nothing. Social dichotomy prevents the establishment of dialogue."
"Gas should cost /gallon. Since the price is irrational."
"what kind of clothes do lawyers wear? Lawsuits."
"Women are like Fruits. Every Woman has her own unique taste and color. But The problem is the Men. They seem to love Fruit salad..!!"
"What do you get when you drop a Hawaiian pizza? Pearl Harbor pizza."
"An atheist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are sitting at a bar... I know because Reddit reposted it and it made the front page."
"Flying around shitting on cars. Rock on, birds. Livin' the dream!"
"911: what is your emergency? Me: HE READ BUT DIDN'T REPLY"
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