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Joke of the Day

"What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub? Throw in your laundry."

"I bought a pig for $100 and named him Moo-Ham-Head, I then sold him for $150. Does that make him a profit?"

"I climbed on this seesaw with Rick Astley 3 hours ago. *sigh He's never gonna let me down."

"What did the vulture say when the airline agent asked if he wanted to check his luggage? No, thanks, it's just carrion..."

"ur honor, i call GOD as my witness *jury gasps* *nothimg happens* *slowley, a man w/ beard rises from the stands* damit no Gary sit down"

"Someone really has to have a serious talk with birds about their pooping habits Do they really think we're gonna let that shit fly?"

"Tell me more about how you don't have to work out often because you get too strong too fast. Man what a predicament"

"I always close the door to the bathroom even if I'm home alone. What if someone broke in and saw me peeing? That would be so embarrassing"

"If you think January has been a big month for marches, you're gonna lose your mind when you hear what the 3rd month of the year is called."

"I dated a soccer player once. I also learned a new word that's in poor taste to yell out during climax."