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Joke of the Day

"What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub? Throw in your laundry."

"A son is coming out to his father ""I'm gay"" the son says. ""You aren't thinking straight"" says the dad. And then they laugh and hug, for it was a dad joke."

"I come to Twitter for the recipe trading, but I stay for the overt racism!"

"A scientist claims to have 100,000 pieces of evidence that Bigfoot exists. How about one, a f#cking Bigfoot??"

"I started volunteering with children today. Should I use anti-bacterial hand gel, or is spraying them in the face with Lysol enough?"

"I figured out I'm autosapiosexual. I just came to this conclusion."

"Why don't hydrocarbons make good criminals? They're always getting com-busted."

"My boss hates it when I shorten his name to ""Dick"". Especially since his name is Steve."

"Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout Boy scouts come home from camp"

"[Marriage Counseling] Wife: He's always messing up even the simplest phrases. Me: I THOUGHT we were gonna keep that on the download..."