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Joke of the Day

"ignorance or apathy? I dont know and I dont care"

"[first date] Her: I just love eating clean and staying healthy, you know? Me:*flashback to the time I cry-ate two lasagnas* Totally"

"I'm so happy I finally tied the knot. Now I've just got to kick the chair she's standing on and I'm a free man!"

"The last stall in the bathroom at work Has a really, noisy creaky door when you open it. There's some scary shit going on in there......."

"Did you hear about the DJ who bought a cheap pair of photochromic lenses? He had shitty transitions."

"Charlie couldn't believe he was being allowed into the Chocolate Factory His girlfriend had been so against it for years"

"What to you call an Eskimo peeping Tom? Tommy Tookalook"

"I'm not an alcoholic. I'm soberphobic."

"I know what piece of currency Harriet Tubman should be on a .60 cent coin"

"How did German men pick up Jewish women in the 1940s? With a dustpan and broom."