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Joke of the Day
"My cell phone is so nervous whenever I go to the countryside... ...it's constantly on EDGE."
Next Joke
"Two fish are in a tank... One of them says ""hey, how do you drive this thing.."""
"Transphobia"
"I made a terrible mistake when I searched for Gary Oldman on Google. I forgot the R"
"I'm the guy that starts walking away as you're giving me directions."
"Why did the dog go to the vets? He was pawly. I'm sorry. I'll see myself out."
"Me: 'I love you so much, I'll see you later beautiful' Girlfriend: 'I love you too' Me: *Looks up from patting dog* 'Yeah see you later'"
"Another way that succes is like pregnancy Women have to get it from men."
"""These orthodontic shoes are really great!"" - don't you mean *orthopedic*? ""I stand corrected."""
"[Gives husband a list for groceries] He brings home 1/2 of what's on the list and someone else's kid."