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Joke of the Day

"Weird Al and Vin Diesel should team up with a chip tune band Then they could be Al, Vin & The Chip Monks"

"I will never go bungee jumping. A rubber breaking was the reason I was born, it sure as hell isn't going to be the reason that I die."

"What is the difference between a woman and a terrorist? With a terrorist you can negotiate"

"If you rearrange the letters in ""Vladimir Putin"" you get murdered."

"A Russian businessman has been ordered to pay his wife $4.5 billion in what is being called the world's most expensive divorce. Then L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling said, ""Stay tuned."""

"A car is just a very small room with wheels"

"Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says ""Wow, that's got to be the fastest we ever got to the accident site."""

"I called the bookstore and asked if they had any books about constipation. She told me it hasn't come out yet"

"What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A bad golfer: *WHACK!* and shouts ""DAMN!"" A bad skydiver: shouts ""DAMN!"" *WHACK*"

"A sergeant and two men from his unit walk into a bar 'Would you like to play pool?' The sergeant asked the attractive barmaid. 'No thanks darling' she replies. 'I'd rather play with your privates.'"