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Joke of the Day

"Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says ""Wow, that's got to be the fastest we ever got to the accident site."""

"*walks into hospital carrying baby* ""What's your return policy on this thing?"""

"Who wins in a race to San Francisco, the lesbian couple or the gay couple? The lesbians. They get there lickity split while the gays are still packin it in!"

"If this gets 1000 upvotes, my wife and I will try anal... Please don't, her strap on is huge"

"if youre a healthy young male or female with blood type O, please consider donating a kidney to me. my goal is 22 kidney 's"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care? Shouldn't he be able to cross the road without having his motive questioned? Now let me just... exit through that conveniently placed door.."

"TIL that saying sushi instead of so shitty makes you smile. that is all. no need to click this. If you are reading this you clicked the link, and you are sushi."

"A man asks a bartender: ""How late does the band play?"" ""Only about half a beat behind the drummer."" The bartender replies."

"A thief stole my gate the other day, but I didn't report him I was afraid he might take a fence"

"Can someone please explain this joke to me? How do you get the elephant out of the theatre? You can't. It's in his blood."