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Joke of the Day

"A joke I made up from The Revenant Why did Glass gut the horse? He just wanted to fit in."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? THATS NOT FUNNY!"

"I wrote a song about a tortilla. well actually, it's more of a wrap"

"What do a frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant girl have in common? Failure to pull out in time"

"What do you call an Artist in a Dark Alley? Sketchy"

"Jaws 2 (1978): after the sudden death of his father, a young shark is forced to take over the family business in a seaside resort."

"Velcro. What a rip off!"

"My Valentine is like the square root of -100... A 10, but imaginary"

"""sure was nice of me to give that homeless guy $5 this morning"" [sees Steve Bannon on TV holding a Starbucks] ""son of a..."""

"I always hate going into my cousin's house. He vapes e-cigarettes constantly... ...so whenever I leave there, I end up smelling like an ashlesstray."