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Joke of the Day

"""sure was nice of me to give that homeless guy $5 this morning"" [sees Steve Bannon on TV holding a Starbucks] ""son of a..."""

"*beats a guitar hero song on expert mode* *changes Twitter bio to ""musician/songwriter""*"

"Who's this Rorschach guy... And why does he paint so many penises?"

"A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff.. Bahh, dum, hiss"

"Yoda tells a joke at the annual Christmas party. Why was five afraid of seven? Because Six Seven Eight"

"Why did the cultists adopt a dead child? They wanted to raise the dead."

"Hey I'm in jail on the police station for having an ugly face..... Can you please come over and show them they got the wrong person?"

"If Rick Ross was Jamaican his slogan would be Bumbuh Rawss (Say it in a Jamaican accent)"

"How come you never get into a fart contest with a girls? They have double barrels. Probably a repeat, but my brother in law hadn't heard it so I figured I would post it."

"How is there not an STD Clinic called, ""Clap on Clap off""?"