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Joke of the Day

"What's green and smells of pork? Kermit's cock"

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"What's the difference between Light and Hard? You can sleep with a light on"
"Sometimes I zone out and forget what I'm supposed to be doing, and then I remember and take a drink of my beer."
"I'm shit at remembering names. But isn't every Tom, Rick, and Larry"
"*Good Will Hunting* Professor: are you the janitor who's been solving the math equations? me: [writing '80085' on every chalkboard] yes?"
"Buying a smart car seems like a good idea until you hit a squirrel and flip over a few times."
"Speed was unrealistic because nobody riding a bus wants to live"
"Understanding women isn't rocket science. Rocket science has rules and boundaries."
"From my 7 year old daughter: What do you call a girl shell? A she shell."
"How do the jews comunicate? With smoke signals"