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Joke of the Day

"[NSFW] The worst part about kissing my wife after a blowjob... Is wondering if she can taste the other guy's dick."

"sorry I haven't been tweeting much lately. I've been reading the Cheesecake Factory menu"

"Why don't white supremacist drink the water in Central America? Because it's Nicaragua"

"What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta."

"I see the baby's nose is running again"" said a worried father. ""For goodness sake!"" snapped his wife. ""Can't you think of anything other than horse racing?"""

"""Wow this pizza is amazing"" Yes, well it's our specialty dough. We soak it in pickle juice. Dill pickle juice actually. It's a dilldough"

"A jewish man walks into a bakery And he asks, ""how much does the challah cost?""."

"Why did the chicken go around the world? Because his name was Marco Pollo.."

"""It just feels so good to have a clean apartment!"" - someone who's never killed a bear with a sword"

"James Bond went to get a haircut. The barber asked him if he wanted to dye his hair as well. Bond replied ""Dye another day."""