21703

Joke of the Day

"""It just feels so good to have a clean apartment!"" - someone who's never killed a bear with a sword"

"Two owls were playing pool. One said ""Two hits."" The other replied ""Two hits to who?"""

"Why is Africa so bad at cricket? Because they only have Ebola!"

"Baltimore's chief export seems to be artisanal crime narrative."

"Every day, I win arguments from 10 years ago in the shower."

"What's the fastest drink in the world ? Sonic the eggnog."

"Why shouldn't you put extra lettuce on your BLT? Because then you won't be able to fit into your B-E-L-T! killme.jpg"

"Why did the vampire sit on a pumpkin? It wanted to play squash."

"This sub should be referred to as ""Geddit."""

"my roofing company has gone bankrupt. I kept saying ""this one's on the house"" every time I finished a roof, how could i be so stupid"