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Joke of the Day
"The Cincinnati zoo has honey bees, sweat bees, carpenter bees, bumble bees.... But no Harambe"
Next Joke
"You won't be hearing from me for a while. I'm being investigated for stealing swimming pool inflatables.... I gotta lilo."
"I'VE GOT (( PROBLEMS AND A STUCK SHIFT KEY IS ONE."
"so a man comes into a bar........ Oh wait no it was a horse....... So a man comes into a horse.........."
"I had two ribs removed so I could pet small dogs easier."
"How many anesthesiologists does it... take... to... ... change... ... a... ... ... ... ..."
"What's the best way to keep milk from turning sour? Leave it in the cow."
"Me: ""Dude, I brought another dress for you to clean."" Dry cleaner: *takes off headphone* ""Sorry, come again?"" Me: ""No, mustard."""
"The definition of a fart...as told by a 60 year old woman I work with. A turd honking for its right of way!"
"Why did the scale decide that the scam artists were heavier than the novels? Because the cons outweighed the prose."