39001
Joke of the Day
"How many tickles does it take to pleasure an anime character? Ten."
Next Joke
"Last supper *at the last supper* *Jesus breaks bread* this is my body *pours wine* this is my blood *opens jar of mayo* Judas: I'm just going to stop you right there...."
"HR: You said: You're ""moist"" welcome? Me: Autocorrect. HR: You're fine. Me: Sweet! HR: I meant: you're fired. Autocorrect."
"What happens to a plate made out of cookies when you drop it? It chips."
"a:1:{s:7:""retweet"";i:3;}"
"Cop: ""Do you know why I pulled you over?"" Me: ""OH NO THIS COP HAS AMNESIA!!!"""
"Him: Why do you wear riding boots? You don't ride horses. Me: Why do you wear sneakers? You don't sneak."
"I don't care about Disney lying about my Prince Charming. I'm more pissed about forest creatures and their unwillingness to clean my house."
"What's the United States favorite brand of shortening? San Fran Crisco"
"By the time my father was my age he had amassed, like, 30 coffee cans full of screws. I have none. What have I done with my life?"