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Joke of the Day

"How many tickles does it take to pleasure an anime character? Ten."

"Failed long-term relationships are never a total waste. They teach you valuable life skills, like how to carve profanity into car paint."

"What's white and drips from the cloud? The coming of the Lord."

"My dad installed new LED bulbs in his home. I started seeing him in a new light after that."

"Blood's thicker than water, so remember to pull back on the flour a bit when you substitute it into your baking."

"I don't like going to the beach. I'm a playa hater."

"'I'm sorry' and 'my bad' are frequently used interchangeably... ... but never at a funeral."

"Two peanuts walk into an elevator One was Ray Rice and the other was assaulted."

"If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me, and we can make fun of people together."

"What's the difference between humor and odor? Humor is a shift of wit..."