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Joke of the Day

"What's white and drips from the cloud? The coming of the Lord."

"What do basic cave bitches wear? UGGA Boots"

"An 81-year-old woman in the U.K. went sky diving to help raise money for a local hospital. They didn't raise a lot of money, but they did get a new patient"

"My girlfriend thinks that I can't cook, but as soon as I figure out how much Play-Doh is supposed to go in meatloaf, I'll prove her wrong."

"Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because ""The Sum of All Fears"" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography."

"Why did Luke Skywalker get in trouble for using the Live Long and Prosper sign? It's because he was accused of cultural appropriation."

"What do you get when you cross Henry VIII and Vlad the Impaler? Executed."

"My friend and I were hiking... Me: ""That's a huge rock over there!"" Him: ""Boulder."" Me: **""That's a huge rock over there!""**"

"Tequila doesn't make me drunk and disorderly, it just seems that way, cuz Police Reports are all written by cops."

"Frozen... Text Message from Wife: Windows frozen. Won't Open. Husband: Pour lukewarm water on window. Tap gently with hammer to free windows. Wife: Computer really messed up now. Nothing works."