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Joke of the Day
"A cabbage and a carrot get into a race, who wins? The cabbage, it's a head"
Next Joke
"Several people dancing around a pen... What is the movie name? Independence Day"
"[starts Power Point presentation titled ""Why I'm Breaking Up With You""] Him: Wait, what the--? Me: Please hold all questions until the end."
"""well that's a load on my back"" - relieved slut"
"google glass is going to revolutionize the way america walks into oncoming traffic"
"I have a lot of wisdom in regards to oral hygiene. I'd consider myself a flosserpher."
"Whatever, low battery indicator. You're not the boss of"
"How did Harry Potter get to the bottom of the hill? By running! J.K. Rowling"
"You are what your parents ate too..I'm part black licorice..part hot dog."
"I tried explaining to someone why smoking weed is bad for you. To be blunt, I don't think they were paying much attention."