38833

Joke of the Day

"5,""So we don't get to open any presents today?"" Me, ""No."" 5, ""So basically Thanksgiving is just Christmas for your tummy, right?"""

"Time is at once the most valuable and most perishable of all our possessions."

"Being a parent is the most rewarding job in the world. Unless you have a job where the reward is, for example, getting paid."

"Complex numbers are all fun and games.... ....until someone loses an i...."

"The World Trade Center had a Speed-Reading club they went thru fifty stories in thirty seconds"

"At what age do you have THE talk with your daughter about how she is not the princess of anything and she'll need to get a job. Is it 6?"

"Which sex position gives birth to the mostly ugly children? Ask your mom"

"Did you ever notice how men always leave the toilet seat up? THAT'S THE JOKE."

"What's Scoobys birthstone? Ruuuubbbby?"

"Don't get into an argument in an elevator it could escalate very quickly"