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Joke of the Day

"I'M POOPING MY PANTS I MEAN I'M PUKING MY PANTS I MEAN I'M PEEING MY PANTS I REALLY DONT WANT THESE PANTS ANYMORE."

"I feel bad for people who work at German supermarkets. They have to deal with Deutsch bags all day."

"I don't like the idea of bacteria in my yogurt so I mix it with hand sanitizer. It cuts down on the taste, but I sleep better at night."

"Today is my birthday and I turned 25 Jokes on me my insurance didn't go down."

"What did Jesse say to Woody when they were having a threesome with Buzz Lightyear? You've got a friend in me"

"Trump Tower and Michael Phelps Between Michael Phelps and Trump Tower, it has been the biggest week for suction cups in the history of mankind."

"How much does a rock weigh? One stone."

"Does anyone know which homeless shelters provide wifi?"

"Where do stoners keep their money? In a joint account"

"Why does the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing :D"