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Joke of the Day

"Public restrooms are weird. The guy in the stall next to me has four feet and is wearing heels on one pair."

"[one month later] Sorry, just got your text. Do you still want to break up?"

"What's the difference between a bmw driver and a porcupine? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside."

"Why did Mary fell from the swing ? Because she hasn't got arms !"

"Ted Cruz, according to the news, IS planning THat Either cruZ Or his aDminIstrAtion will be Compiling their documents to maKe a IntegraL poLitical announcemEnt this afteRnoon [hope you can decrypt it]"

"What's the rudest type of Elf? The GofuckyoursELF "

"I'm gonna start a woman's monthly magazine called ""Period"", and some months I will send it out late to freak out subscribers"

"Why did the antelope go to her sisters house? She wanted to see her nephewlope"

"Theres this one word I always stumble on when I try to remember it.... oh yeah, the word is forget."

"I drove home with a new bunny for my kids & all they did was moan. ""Why hasn't it got a head?"" ""I don't want to scrape it off the wheel."""