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Joke of the Day

"why does the official Reddit app aways crash? Unfortunately Reddit has stopped working, would you like to report the issue?"

"How did the constipated mathematician solve the problem? He worked out with a pencil."

"Why were the ghosts wet and tired? They had just dread-ged the lake."

"THIS JUST IN: Foreign suppliers of shredded cheese on strike. Eyewitnesses report protesting workers holding signs that read: ""MAKE AMERICA GRATE AGAIN"""

"What starts with Y and ends with a D? You're gonna get raped!"

"""What the fuck is a newspaper?"" - our grandchildren"

"A mushroom goes into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, 'We don't serve your kind here."" The mushroom says, ""Why not? I'm a fungi."""

"[at checkout counter] Would ya like to donate $1 to- -No But you didn't let me finish -Is it $1 toward you shutting your mouth? No -Then no"

".@Schwarzenegger I just wanted to let you know that every single article I've ever read about you spells ""Australia"" wrong. G'day mate!"

"Sometimes I wonder if I need to spell it out to people.. But then I realised I typed it, so I already did spell it out."