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Joke of the Day

"THIS JUST IN: Foreign suppliers of shredded cheese on strike. Eyewitnesses report protesting workers holding signs that read: ""MAKE AMERICA GRATE AGAIN"""

"The 12 Days of Christmas reads like the amazon wish list of someone tripping balls"

"We think you may have a phobia of marriage Doctor: We think you may have a phobia of marriage. Do you know what the symptoms are? Me: I can't say I do. Doctor: That's one of the symptoms, yes."

"Why is diarrhea hereditary? Because it runs in your genes!"

"I was going to start my diet today, but as it turns out pizza still exists, so..."

"Scars make a man handsome? Bathe your cat every day and you'll become the sexiest man in the city very soon!"

"There's 3 types of people in the world. The ones that know how to count and the ones that don't."

"5-year-old: Can I borrow a dollar? Me: You don't have a job. How will you pay me back? 5: Me: 5: I'll borrow another dollar."

"Chickens making knock knock jokes. -Why did the chicken cross the road? -Are you kidding me? -To get to the ugly witches house. Knock, knock. -Who's there? -The chicken."

"one of the tvs at this bar is showing hockey and the other is showing an infomercial for a blender and more people are watching the blender"