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Joke of the Day

"That old man reminds me of your puppy... They're both probably going to die within 20 years."

"The day Adele decides to crowd surf is the day we learn who her real fans are"

"What does a bungie jumper and a condom wearer have in common? If the rubber snaps they're screwed. <----- this is a classic xD"

"I'm probably 0 for 400 in looking for safes behind wall paintings"

"Why don't shrimp donate to charities? Because they're shellfish."

"What did the valley girl say when her pen ran out of ink? I LITERALLY CAN'T EVEN WRITE NOW"

"How do you know when a vegan gets to the party? Don't worry, they'll tell you."

"Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 89% water. I can walk on babies. I am... in jail."

"Why is the Democratic electoral landscape like a Moebius strip? Cause no matter what you do, there always seems to be a Clinton claiming to be ""on your side"" . . ."

"/r/News Pyongyang FIFY"