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Joke of the Day
"There was life on mars. Was. It was a cat. Then Curiosity killed it."
Next Joke
"NSFW - If you need to voice search the web for new directions don't say it too fast"
"My signature move is asking a co-worker wearing a suit on dress down Fridays, ""how did the job interview go?"" in front of everyone."
"[Olive Garden] PATRON: there are so many types of pasta WAITER: [required to say this] yes...*clenches teeth* the pastabilities are endless"
"Q: Why did Mitt Romney feed his cows money? A: He wanted rich milk."
"What do you call a female dog with a PH level above 7? A basic bitch"
"How do you make holy water? Put it in a pot and boil the hell out if it."
"Pavlov's cats rule, Pavlov's dogs drool."
"The Pope is elevating Pete Carrol! He's the only person that can make 20,000,000 people shout out JESUS CHRIST in unison!"
"They say ""confidence"" is the most attractive quality in a partner. But I'd have to say, ""not banging my friends"" would be a very close 2nd"