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Joke of the Day

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee *before* it was cool."

"A PS4 fan and an Xbox One fan started fighting! Someone call the ambulance! *Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U*"

"My friend said to me, ""If I wasn't mixing cocktails, I'd be a criminal."" ..... Either way, he's behind bars."

"If only 10 people were to stay alive in this world. what number of healthy males do you think is a good number? And how many females?"

"What do you call someone who has to pay for sex? Buy-sexual (I know it is cheesy, but I thought of it all on my own.)"

"The NSA has been tracking phone records for Verizon customers. They skipped AT&T because those people can't complete calls."

"Whenever the wind gets bad... I think to myself, ""It may be windy but at least its not sandy."""

"I've started a business building yachts in my attic. Sails are going through the roof."

"Ambulance is spelled backwards on the front so when you look in your rearview mirror you don't confuse it with the other giant siren cubes."

"I really wish I knew who kicked the jack under the car which I was working on.. .. the suspension is killing me."