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Joke of the Day
"Chihuahua is my favorite pet that is also the sound I make during a bikini wax."
Next Joke
"I had to bury my girlfriends cat today... He put up a hell of a fight, but I got him covered up!"
"Jan 21, 2015: The 1989 film ""Back to the Future II"" showed life on Oct 21, 2015. So we've got 9 Months to invent Flying Cars."
"*sees my stepfather on Xmas* Hey Chip, Feliz Notmydad you piece of shit"
"I watched Mad Max: Fury Road today."
"Not saying I'm special but kids these days never have any money behind their ears."
"Possessio is nine tenths of the word. [Source](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ej8EaLF382c)"
"My wife's cooking is so bad.... My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food."
"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl use the restroom? Because the *p* is silent"
"I looked up in the sky and a bird pooped in my eye I'm sure glad cows can't fly."