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Joke of the Day
"*sees my stepfather on Xmas* Hey Chip, Feliz Notmydad you piece of shit"
Next Joke
"I was always really bad with numbers But I think my 34 inch dick makes up for it."
"Winter coats look like people gained 10 pounds, a perfect indicator for how they will look without the coat when the holiday season is over"
"Good chance of showers today. -- Bathroom Forecast."
"What do The Walking Dead and the state of Wisconsin have in common? They both have a hated governor."
"Every wife should understand one thing: a dinner will taste better if she cooks it less frequently."
"Women are like stars... At first they are small and hot, then they get bigger and bigger, then finally they suck the life out of everything around them."
"How do you cover 12 holes with one hole? Take a flute and shove it up your ass."
"She blinded me with science! (Specifically, a botched LASIK surgery.)"
"How many Vietnam War Veterans does it take to change a lightbulb? You don't know man, you weren't there!"