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Joke of the Day

"Feeding your cat a vegan diet is actually pretty easy. The trick is to cut up the vegans in to very small chunks first."

"Why don't violists get stressed? Because they have nothing to fret about!"

"So Harambe walked into a bar Bartender: What will you be having to drink? Harambe: I'll have a beer Me: No, he'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice? Me: Yes, justice for Harambe"

"How do porcupines hug? Carefully!"

"What do you call a far-ranging debate? A mass-debate."

"Youtube Ads Youtube can insta load a commercial but my 2 minute video takes 10 minutes to buffer."

"Where was Jar Jar Binks in the new Star Wars movie? Answer: Who gives a fuck?"

"He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris ... dies."

"My SO just left me for a guy with a conjoined twin. She says he's twice the man I am."

"I can't wait for the next Quantum Physicist triathlon. I'm going to stand beside the bikes and yell out their speeds. They'll get so lost they'll end back at the starting line."