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Joke of the Day

"Life is basically one long, terrible date with yourself."

"What did the blind and deaf girl get for Christmas? Cancer."

"What did the strawberry say on December 25th? Berry Christmas!"

"What is the difference between Trump's tie and a horse's tail? The horse's tail covers the whole asshole"

"Two lawyers walk into a bar. The third one ducks."

"What's the difference between a bird and a fly? Birds can fly, but flies can't bird"

"What is the difference between a woman and a forklift? There is none. In both cases, if you don't have one, you unload by hand."

"Do you think Gillette employees ever call in Schick to work?"

"FYI Valentines Day is only 5 days away... It's not too late to break up."

"What's a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!"