38009

Joke of the Day

"Researchers have developed a new painkiller with no negative side effects ... and no positive either."

"Now I ain't saying she a gold digger, but she out in the field with a shovel & idk man she's diggin for somethin. Oh burying a body? Ok then"

"I had a jacket stolen from me tonight. My enemies will stop at nothing to keep me from maintaining a comfortable body temperature in style"

"Intellectual Jokes as in: Yo mama so wide she didn't fit through the Thermopylae Pass or she so fat she didn't fit through the last circle in Dante's Inferno. Let's get this thread ballin'."

"""Son of a bitch, what are you doing? I just brought you that."" (most dogs during fetch)"

"I just poured out a bottle of Listerine for my homie Steve Buscemi, who we've lost to gingivitis."

"Pick a number between 1 and 10 Pick any number between 1 and 10. I will try and guess what number it is. Pick a number I'd say you chose 6 Some people will have just had their minds blown"

"What's the Difference Between An Onion and a Baby I cry when I cut onions."

"The rush I get from completing a crossword puzzle leads me to believe that trying hard drugs would destroy my life within hours."

"Just beat my record for most consecutive days without dying."