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Joke of the Day

"""Son of a bitch, what are you doing? I just brought you that."" (most dogs during fetch)"

"Kids these days sure do love taking pictures of mirrors."

"Where are male pornstars buried? Deadwood."

"Guy: Can I get your number? Me: I kill plants for fun"

"A Jewish boy asks his father for 50 dollars, to which he replied.... 40 dollars? what do you need 30 dollars for?"

"I've been running as fast as I can, but I still can't catch my breath."

"Are you ever going to use those Styrofoam plates? No, they're not biodegradable. Well throw them away then!"

"CW: What did you do on the weekend? ME: I baked CW: Nice. What did you bake? ME: Me"

"What do you call an elephant with a poor memory? A bold and innovative departure from the hackneyed stereotypes that all too often dominate the joke-telling industry."

"A termite walks into a bar... He waits and waits and nobody appears. He turns to a termite next to him and asks him, ""Hey, is the bar tender here?"". The second termite says, ""Yeah. It's okay""."