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Joke of the Day
"I don't care what anybody says, my six hours of Black Friday shopping saved me at least $7.50."
Next Joke
"My spirit animal just ran into a glass door."
"What did the child with no hands get for his birthday? Nobody knows yet."
"I'm so proud of myself. I went to Costco hungry and only spent $17,000."
"Q: What goes: click click click ""Now? FUCK!"" click click click ""Now? FUCK!"" etc... A: A blind guy working a Rubix cube."
"Twitter is a good place to meet men. The odds are good but the goods are odd."
"What's the difference between a feminist and an archangel that dislikes Biblical prophets? One is a Dan-hating Mike. The other is a man-hating dyke. edit: spelling because of anal dykes"
"What does a necrophiliac say to confess his love for someone? ""You're dead to me"""
"Michael Brown's family just wants their voices to be heard. They are tired of being shot down."
"Why should apiarists determine standards of beauty? Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder."