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Joke of the Day

"Why should apiarists determine standards of beauty? Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder."

"I like this new trend in hotels where to get some light on you have to walk around the room for 5 minutes turning 8 small lights on."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster that got a boob job? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean"

"I wish Kristen from finance would tell us her husband was an ""attorney"" one more time so I could feel better about shitting in her purse."

"Hard to believe that Twitter is six years old. Seems like just yesterday that I spoke to my family."

"Why is it called the ""color TV""? Because it was invented by a black person!"

"What does a Browns fan say to a robber? I hate the steelers."

"What do you call a two dentists that live on opposite sides of the world? Molar opposites."

"I wish my girlfriend.... Would go down as much as Pokemon Go servers"

"What do you call a communist sniper? A Marxman"