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Joke of the Day

"Studies have shown that smokers are 97% more likely than non-smokers... to walk out on their families."

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"What did they give the guy who invented the doorknocker? A no-bell prize"
"What do you call the act of lying about Penis size? A Phallacy"
"Where do kings keep there armies? In their sleevies."
"A CEO of a large gas station chain was arrested this morning He was running a shell corporation."
"""HULK WANT LOAN."" Bank: ""We can't loan to people like you."" ""GREEN SKIN PEOPLE??"" Bank: ""No, people who owe 2.6M in property damage."""
"isnt it so weird when youre thinking about someone and they suddenly appear? Anyway, my dad just caught me masturbating"
"Ignorance is only bliss until you wish you knew the answer"
"Political Satire If con is the opposite of pro, then what's the opposite of progress? Also, opposite of consitution."
"Guys, if you have to point your toes to put your pants on, those aren't your pants. Give them back to your sister."
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