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Joke of the Day

"Ignorance is only bliss until you wish you knew the answer"

"Q: What wobbles as it flies? A: A jelly-copter."

"Did you hear about the new pop singer that has giant nipples? Her name is Areola Grande."

"Why do vegetarian chefs type with their feet? Because they have great toe fu."

"What do they do to dead scientists? They barium."

"A homeless guy outside played the Braveheart theme on a recorder. Pretty awesome. Not as awesome as having a house, but still, AWESOME."

"I used to listen to old Mitch Hedberg recordings.. I still do, I just used to too."

"My friend just fucked his 14 year old escort. So, does anyone here know how to fix a 2002 Ford? It's pretty messed up from the event."

"You are living, you occupy space and you have mass. You know what that means... You matter!"

"a gun is like a blow up doll You get off when you use it .... except it can kill someone."