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Joke of the Day

"No one talks to you on the bus when you're shaking a box of Milk Duds that your head phones are plugged into."

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"What do you call a cow with no legs? ....ground beef... tehe.."
"What phrase would a neckbeard who watches South Park use the most? M'Kay"
"Why was the New Englander so intent on looking for his khakis? Cuz he needed to pahk da cah in da yahd."
"Why did the Snowman pull his pants down? Because the snowblower was coming."
"[OC] Why can't an orchestra made of OB/GYN doctors ever get good enough to perform a concert? Because the C-section is always messy."
"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He sipped his coffee before it was cool"
"What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I've never paid to have a garbanzo bean on my face."
"Putin at the airport Vladimir Putin arrives at an airport, gets in line at customs desk. Customs officer: Occupation? Putin: No, just visiting."
"Chuck Norris is so awesome... He counted to infinity, twice."