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Joke of the Day

"[OC] Why can't an orchestra made of OB/GYN doctors ever get good enough to perform a concert? Because the C-section is always messy."

"Cookie Monster delivering the eulogy at Bert's funeral. Head bowed low. Stillness. ""Me want cookies,"" he sadly intones. ""Me want cookies."""

"What's the easiest way to get off an elephant? I don't know but you should buy it dinner first!"

"Give me a massage ""Mm okay"" *rubs oil all over her* *things get hot* *things get too hot* *she bursts into flames* ""Dang I used petroleum"""

"What do you do when you see a space man? You park, man."

"Why did the ram run off the cliff? ...He didn't see the ewe turn! .>_<."

"Did you know diarrhea is hereditary? It runs through your jeans."

"I burnt my Hawaiian pizza today.. Shoulda cooked it on aloha temperature"

"Waiter there's a fly swimming in my soup! Then we've served you too much soup the fly should be wading"

"9 out of 7 people can't do fractions"