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Joke of the Day

"Pretty sure I know what my wife's getting me for my birthday cause when I guessed, ""A 3-way?"" she got all angry like I ruined the surprise."

"Go on vacation in Poland... ...your car is already there!"

"A woman's legs are a lot like peanut butter It's much easier to get them to spread if you have a knife"

"I have performance enhancing shrugs."

"Two do list: -Do -Do"

"What's black, white, red, and has trouble going through a revolving door? A nun with a spear through her head."

"""Can I shit here?"" ---- Sean Connery trying to make friends at the park but making enemies inshtead."

"Humans should be eternally grateful it wasn't me who was in Newton's place. If the apple hit me I'd be like ""Nice!"" & eat it. End of story."

"Imagine a world not only without sex but where there is the constant threat that a stork will just drop a fucking baby off at your house."

"Father and son talking: - Daddy, is it true that in some parts of Africa and Asia a man does not know the wife until marrying her? - Here too, my son. Here too ..."