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Joke of the Day
"Two do list: -Do -Do"
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"Why do bald men cut holes in their pockets? So they can run their fingers through their hair."
"If love is blind why is Lingerie so popular?"
"How many friend-zoned guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they'll just compliment it and then get pissed when it doesn't screw."
"A certain leisure complex had a cinema and a swimming pool. One day, the cinema screen fell into the pool. The owners left it there and used it as a dive-in theater."
"Q: What is printed on the bottom of a bottle in Michigan? (Found on /r/linux) A: Open the other end"
"What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable? ...the wheelchair"
"PARTY GUEST: So, how did you two meet? HUSBAND: Oh, it's a bit of a fairytale, right darling? [wife is clearly a wolf in a dress] WIFE: Yes."
"What do you call it when a hooker farts? A prosti-toot"
"The best contraceptive for old people is nudity. "