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Joke of the Day

"My wife wanted one of those ""unique"" names for our son. So we named him Jason The 'J' sounds like 'Th'. The ""ason"" is silent. You add ""omas"" on the end."

"A cute thing I tell my kids when we see a dead deer on the side of the road is, ""Looks like Santa lost his temper again."""

"I tried to reason with the poop smudge in my toilet bowl. The whole thing was pointless, it just got pissed off anyway."

"How do you make an archeologist blush? Give them a dirty tampon and ask what period its from."

"PATIENT: my stomach is killing me, doc DR DOG: I've got just the thing for you *hands him a prescription bottle filled with grass*"

"I've decided to write a 'knock knock' joke about Jehovah's witnesses. ""Knock, Knock, Knock , knock knock knock knock knock """

"J.R.R. Tolkien's full name is Jolkien Rolkien Rolkien Tolkien."

"What's Irish and sits outside? Patio Furniture"

"Customer: Give me a hot dog. Waiter: With pleasure. Customer: No with mustard."

"A man falls in love with a nun and they run away together... The church says it doesn't mind, as long as he doesn't get into the habit."