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Joke of the Day
"Customer: Give me a hot dog. Waiter: With pleasure. Customer: No with mustard."
Next Joke
"What did trump say to hillary after the debate? WRONG! and hillary replied : he is a lier and he cannot be trusted"
"You'd think 'The Terminator' would know what to do in the event of some lady having a child that threatens your way of life."
"Me: What happened to all the bourbon? Her: Oh, I put it in the chicken. Me: Then pour me a glass of chicken."
"You teabag But Chuck Norris potato sacks"
"My friend told me he had the body of a Greek god. I had to explain to him that Buddha is not Greek."
"Nothing says defeat than deleting your own tweet."
"[tells friend cat passed away] Is there anything I can do? Yes [holds up fur coat] put this on & lie in my lap But I- [starts crying] OK OK"
"The world can be separated into two types of people. Those who listen to all genres of music except country... ...and fucking rednecks"
"""My god,"" I whisper as the food arrives. ""Just as the prophecy foretold."""