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Joke of the Day

"Kinda miss the Jane Austen era where a man is driven mad by a woman's hand being ungloved & yet oblivious to her heaving bosom falling out."

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"Most Contradictory Inspirational Quote Ever? ""Follow Your Dreams."" -Freddy Kreuger, 2016"
"I won't be getting any sex tonight but I beat level 15 on Bejeweled so its pretty much just as good."
"Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for ""Chuck Norris' basement""."
"Cemetery I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a guy behind a gravestone. I said ""Morning."" He replied, ""No, just taking a shit."""
"The two most popular gifts women receive on Valentine's Day are a box of things that make her fat and a bouquet of things she can watch die."
"What's the difference between a procrastinator and a prognosticator? Well, I haven't come up with the punchline yet, but you can probably see where I'm going with it."
"What do you call a guy that never farts in public? A privet tutor"
"I like most ancient cities... But I Constantinople."
"Thanks god my wife die. hhhhhhhhh"