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Joke of the Day

"Transitioning to a Smurf Today I'm excited to announce I'm transitioning to a Smurf...starting with my balls."

"When my mom first saw my Facebook she was offended it said I was ""interested in men"" I think because she thought that was a list of hobbies"

"What noise does a homosexual horse make? Geigh"

"The best way to tell if a movie character is depressed is if there are a bunch of open chinese food containers sitting around"

"How tall does the grass grow in Germany? Nein feet tall."

"My wife caught me cheating last night and i feel so ashamed and full of regret. She's never going to play monopoly with me again!"

"Did you hear about the couple of gay Irishmen? Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald."

"What one food reduces a woman's sex drive by 90%? Wedding cake."

"I like my women how I like my advent calendar. Against my wall, flaps open, ready to be eaten."

"Spell check changed ""important"" to ""impotent"" so basically I have a meeting in the morning that can't get it up."