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Joke of the Day

"My grandad let me in on the secret to picking up hot Jewish girls during WWII.. with a brush and shovel.."

"A mechanical engineers wife comes out of delivery. She texts him She texts him : ""your new vehicle has been launched"". He replies : "" is it with gear stick or automatic?"""

"2 Fish were in a tank... One fish says to the other, ""Hey who's driving this thing?"""

"Did you hear about Scrooge's drinking problem? He had a dickens of a time with spirits."

"Did you know PMS is mentioned in the Bible? ""...and Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem."""

"Caught my ping smoking weed while playing online Now it became high"

"I'm like a bike... My girlfriend never rides me."

"My girlfriend left a note on the fridge door... It said, ""this is not working. I'm going to my mothers."" I opened the door. The light came on. The beer was cold. Just what in the hell did she mean?"

"Most people don't think I'm as old as I am until they hear me stand up"

"You get to sleep all day, cat, that's why I get the good food."