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Joke of the Day

"My grandad let me in on the secret to picking up hot Jewish girls during WWII.. with a brush and shovel.."

"It's a difficult day for me today. Today is the day I tell my dog that I am not his biological mother and that his real mother was a bitch."

"Bullshit this steak's rare. They have it at like every restaurant!"

"It would be nice if for once i got a thank you... ...when I serve breakfast in bed instead of ""who are you"" and ""how did you get in here""."

"How many indie bands does it take to change a light bulb? Eh, it's some number you've probably never heard of."

"Pythagoras was a skeptic... ...but now he believes in angles"

"Why couldn't R get to P? He had to wait in a Q!"

"Friend: I got a job as a carpenter, but it sucks. Me: No prob, just learn a few magic tricks and people will worship you as their savior."

"I tried to catch some fog. I mist."

"Australian joke I just heard An Australian kiss is like a French kiss only it's... down under."