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Joke of the Day

"What is the definition of delusional? A bloke finishes fucking his blow up doll, rolls over and says was that as good for you as it was for me?"

"Two midgets got married They found their other half"

"What's pun plus pun? Poo"

"Why did the witch get a car with manual transmission? Because she prefers to drive stick!"

"I watch ""2 Girls, 1 Cup"" for the articles."

"Blind man is washing a grater... ..""*this is the biggest bullsh.t I ve ever read*"""

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls are extinct."

"Did you hear about the witch who turned her friend into an egg? She kept trying to poach her ideas."

"How do you find a velociraptor? By taking the integral of the acceleraptor! Me: http://imgur.com/H8rLjub Everyone else: http://imgur.com/J3hC4Ci"

"My kid started doing this annoying preteen whiny voice and now I can turn my head all the way around like the exorcist."