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Joke of the Day

"Tom should concentrate less on Myspace and more on his shoe business"

"Why did John Snow get an iPhone? For the watch."

"I've just won the 2013 'Most secretive person' award. I can't tell you how much it means to me."

"Father: I want to take my girl our of this terrible math class. Teacher: But she's top of the class. Father: That's why I think it must be a terrible class."

"What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear"

"What do you call a retarded jelly? A slow jam."

"What did the politician with a cold talk about at his meeting? The important tissues. (I know it sucks, I just made it up)"

"When my wife and I first got married she treated me like a god! Gave me burnt sacrifices every night."

"If you're pulled over, wait for the cop to lean down to your window, then use their vulnerability to give them a quick peck on the cheek"

"""Knock knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""Syd"" ""Syd who?"" ""Dys Leiax"""