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Joke of the Day

"If you're pulled over, wait for the cop to lean down to your window, then use their vulnerability to give them a quick peck on the cheek"

"What do you call a blind deer? No-eye deer. What do you call a blind deer with no legs? *Still* no-eye deer."

"when I see a girl tie a cherry stem with her tongue I put a whole fish in my mouth and pull out the skeleton then I leave with her boyfriend"

"Spent the day removing $550,000,000 worth of stuff from my Amazon shopping cart."

"The problem with getting a BJ from a deaf chick They can still talk while they do it."

"My son asked me this morning what self-reference meant? [this should explain it](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/3vm6mw)"

"Did you hear the joke about german sausage? It's the wurst!"

"How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb One, they're efficient and not very funny"

"Q: What do you get when Steve Jobs hires and fires a lot of people in six months? A: An Apple turnover."

"How does an economist open a can of beans? ""Assume you have a can opener..."""