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Joke of the Day

"What do a Cloudy Night and Dancing With The Stars have in common? More than likely you won't see any stars."

"Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister? Because he never pays his debts"

"What do you call a wife that knows where her husband is at all time? A widow"

"I was walking in the park... ..and I saw a beautiful girl. I went up to her, spark flew, she fell at my feet and before I knew it we were having sex. God do I love my new taser."

"What do you call a black man being killed by the police? A warning shot."

"Did you hear the one.... Did you hear the one about the dad who told his son if you masterbate too much you'll go blind. The son looks at his dad and says, ""Dad I'm over here!"""

"My blind friend texted me from his new phone today! It said ""gwi u dor srw ofjrd"""

"What did one empty beer bottle say to the other? ""I'm drunk."""

"My girlfriend broke up with me. I am devastated. How could you. I did everything. I surprised you with burgers every night"

"People who know me say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people."